Surgical-gloved fingers. Not, in any way, an organ I should be aware of. And yet I was, because the benign little organ had swollen to the point where it felt like a fist-sized balloon pressed against my testicles. This is a fairly common side-effect; some professional bodybuilders get prostatitis to such an extent they require a catheter. I was urinating 15 times a day. A swollen prostate cramps the urethral tube, making it torture to pee. It also presses against the bladder, making it feel as if you always need to pee, even if there's nothing to pass: I stood over the toilet for five minutes, coaxing, cajoling, only to produce a squirt.
My urine took on a disturbingly rich hue, like cask-aged brandy. I heard that 'vigorous manual relief' helped ease prostate pain. But when I tried this, it felt as though the pipe connecting the sperm factory to its exit had been clothes-pegged: nothing much comes out, and the little that does looks embarrassed to be there. The key was continual application. I became obsessed with manual relief.
Four times a day I was manually relieving myself. All that testosterone in my system, it didn't take much to get the motor humming. I was relieving myself to photos of muscle-bound woman gracing tubs of protein powder. I even relieved myself to a perfume sample in a magazine; I relieved myself to a smell - vigorously so! Wake up, eat, jerk off, work out, eat, jerk off, eat, work out, eat, jerk off, eat, sleep.
The question most sane readers will be asking by this point is: why didn't he stop? Why, despite all the awful side-effects, did he keep plugging needles into himself? I'm sure my answer is no different to that given by most steroid users: the results. Once we pass that period of massive physical change - childhood through our teens, puberty and growth spurts - we settle into a sense of our bodies. We understand the parameters and capabilities, what it can and cannot do.
And though it's disheartening to say, at 30, I was already finding evidence of a body on its downslope. While I worked out regularly, I hadn't made a sizeable gain in years. In gym parlance, I'd 'hit the plateau'. Steroids shattered the limitations of my body. I first sensed their effects while bench-pressing dumbbells.
I usually peak at 85lb each, or lb total. But after 10 repetitions with the 85s I was stunned: it felt like a warm-up! With a degree of trepidation - we're talking weights that, if mishandled, could break a wrist or some ribs - I picked up the pounders, which I'd never attempted. They went up easily and I ripped out 10 reps.
It was an out-of-body sensation: somebody else's arms were pushing those weights, someone else's pectorals flexing and contracting. I went up to lb dumbbells - benching roughly my own body weight. I'd been locked at lb for two years and now, in the course of a single workout, I'd shot up 30lb. My workout weights rocketed across the board. I was doing wide-grip chin-ups with a 35lb plate strapped to my waist; shoulder-pressing 75lb dumbbells; slapping 45lb plates on the biceps bar to curl lb.
I was bottoming out Nautilus machines, lifting their maximum weights. My body exploded, lb to lb in the space of a few weeks - in 'roider vernacular I'd 'swallowed the air hose'. I became a huffer, a puffer, a grunter, a screamer. Anyone who frequents gyms has seen those guys who make ungodly noises while throwing huge masses of weight around. I'd always found these displays childish and tended to look away, as I would from a toddler having a tantrum in a supermarket.
So imagine my surprise to find myself bellowing, shrieking and groaning. It was like a silverback gorilla's mating ritual: I wanted to be seen lifting, wanted everyone to know I was the biggest, toughest motherfucker in the gym. I'm a big boy! It was pathetic and I should have known better - actually I did know better, but I didn't let that stop me. The 'pumps' I'd get after a workout clouded all judgment. My glances at the gym mirrors were at first baffled: 'Is that me? I noticed how light played differently upon my chest and arms, the pockets of blue shadow filling my new contours.
The thing is, I knew it was all fake. I hadn't earned it; it was actually quite freakish. But it's like a woman with giant fake breasts: everyone knows they're fake, but damn it if they don't still draw attention. That oil I shot into my hip weeks ago had not dissolved. The deep pain convinced me I'd developed an abscess. In effect, I've got a pouch of month-old oil inside my hip, walled off by my immune system. If I'm lucky it's sterile, but if not it is infected, the surrounding tissue gone necrotic.
I decide to drain it myself by injecting an empty needle and drawing out the stale oil. My hope is it's still liquid; if it's congealed and lard-like, I'll need medical attention. The needle sunk into the pocket of infected tissue. The pain was expected and surprisingly bearable. I drew back the plunger and got only a few drops of clear broth. I disconnected the syringe and left the needle jutting out, applying pressure to the surrounding skin.
Blood so dark it was almost black dripped down my thigh. Disgusting and more than a little scary, but the pressure subsided. When I'd squeezed as much out as I could, I filled another syringe with sterile water, attached it to the needle still stuck in my skin, injected it, then unclipped the syringe and squeezed most of the water out.
I figured it was a decent job for an untrained meatball like myself. And it did the trick: a week later I was sleeping on my side again. Week 12, I peak at lb. I've packed on 35lb in less than four months. My body has gone through an extreme thickening process. My pectoral muscles are solid slabs of meat hung off my clavicles. My latissimus dorsi muscles flare out from the midpoint of my back: what bodybuilders call a 'cobra's hood'. My triceps and biceps have swollen so much my T-shirt sleeves bunch up at my shoulders, too narrow to fit over my arms.
But the list of physical ailments is mounting. Chronic back pain has set in. I can't walk more than a few blocks before what feels like a fist-sized stone settles upon my lower back. My flexibility has vanished.
There are areas I can not reach due to my new size; if I want to scratch my neck I have to go to the cutlery drawer for a fork. One night I was watching a legal drama on TV - one of those 'ripped from the headlines' type shows. A morbidly obese man was suing a snack company, whom he held responsible for his obesity.
It was revealed that the main ingredient in the snack was high fructose corn syrup, a compound that inhibited the hormone leptin, whose function is to send a signal to the brain that the stomach is full - essentially, leptin tells us when to stop eating. But if this signal is never received, a person will go on eating past the point of reason.
Steroids are like high fructose corn syrup. Essentially, they fool a body into a sense that it is stronger and more resilient than it truly is. You accomplish feats that, in your heart and mind, you know are beyond your capacities - and yet you feel so good, so strong, that you convince yourself otherwise.
But afterwards it is impossible to deny the toll these exertions have taken on you. After a workout my joints felt like they were hyper-extended. They popped and cracked, noises like wheel nuts rattling in a cement mixer. I felt calcified, hardened, and frighteningly old. My cycle ends. One morning I wake up and everything has changed.
The first thing I notice upon waking is that I feel No sluggishness, only minor joint pain. Genuinely refreshed. Then, on my way to the bathroom, I sense a new weight between my legs - my testicles! Fellas, where have you been? Great to have you back, boyos!
The feeling of elation lasts exactly 10 paces: the distance from my bed to the bathroom mirror. I'm staring at a human boneyard. Where are my pecs? I see two shrivelled bags hanging off my chest. My arms - dear lord, my arms! Shapeless shoestrings dangling from a pair of rotten-apple shoulders.
My stomach looks like a deflated clown balloon. My legs belong to a coma victim. I step on the scale: lb! I've shed 13lb overnight. Now I realise only the most deluded of lb men can stare into a mirror and see a skeletal horror staring back.
But I'd become so used to my new body that I felt like a scarecrow with a tear in its belly, bleeding its stuffing all over a farmer's field. The fact that I'd packed on 12lb of raw muscle over four months, that my testicles were up and running again, that I'd woken up feeling better than I had in months - all of this was erased by what I'd lost.
It got worse once I hit the gym. Chest day, which meant dumbbell bench presses. I didn't even attempt to pick up the pounders, which I'd been maxing out with. I settled on the 90s; if I could lift them, it'd be a 20lb increase over my pre-cycle max. I could barely get the things off my chest.
I struggled through a single rep, arms quaking, and halfway through the second the dumbbells crashed down and I rolled awkwardly off the bench, barking my elbows. I felt like a total fraud. Everyone who'd been watching me the past few months as I heaved massive weight about, bellowing like a steer in rut - all these knowing eyes now saw me as a charlatan. I'd lost it. Everything I'd gained had been washed away.
Popeye without his spinach. Weak and broken and utterly human. All the needles, the gallons of protein I'd chugged, pound after pound of tuna, the urine of pregnant women running through my veins, the fainting spells and sleepless nights, the muscle knots and bitch tits and shrunken gonads and the hair in my food and abscesses and caveman brow - every risk I'd taken, all that sweat and toil for nothing.
I fell into a week-long funk. I cleaned my apartment out: the unopened cans of tuna, the uneaten protein powder - all of it went in the bin. I ordered a large pizza, pepperoni and double cheese. I wolfed it down with gulps of Pepsi. I wanted to get fat and disgusting. I wanted to inflict damage upon myself.
The rational part of my mind was going, 'You did the research - you knew this was bound to happen. I headed to the doctor's. Though I felt much better now that it was over, I was still suffering aches and pains. The results: a partially herniated disc in my lower spine, the result of either bad posture or an accumulation of pressure due to excess body weight. A chiropractic visit was scheduled. An enlarged prostate. I was prescribed Avodart, which worked wonders.
Fluid build-up on left knee - again, the result of excess weight. The doctor told me he'd get back to me with the blood test results. I started out weighing lb and ended up at My body looks no better now - if anything, it's worse. Bloated somehow, like I'd died, my body abandoned in a gassy swamp.
The gyno has left nipple-nubbins that poke out when I wear anything tighter than a golf shirt. Has it been worth it? The question presupposes that I expected to benefit from the experience. I embarked on the steroid cycle in order to bring a level of real-world verisimilitude to my novel. I wanted to feel what my character felt, experience a portion of his life, write with conviction about what he went through. In a way, I am ashamed of myself. Was it worth it - all for a book? What have I done to myself in the long run?
Jeopardised my chances of having a child, perhaps. I worry about that a lot. More than anything else. Somewhere along the line I'd been let off the hook. My grandfather, father, uncles, men of generations past - they didn't get the free pass I did. Their lives were about poverty, warts, factory floors, untilled fields. They endured. What have I ever had to endure? I felt unworthy of all I'd been so carelessly given.
And I loathed myself for taking it. I currently weigh lb. The blood tests showed my liver values were totally out of whack. As I had never been able to convince a woman that I was a viable prospect to make a baby with before, I'll never know if an inability to conceive, should that be the case, is attributable to steroids or the innate decrepitude of my seed.
Did I take steroids to write a book, or did I write a book as an excuse to take steroids? Often, all you want is to step off the path you've carved. And when my body began to fall apart, when the drugs began to destroy me, I persisted in the belief that all suffering on my part was long overdue. I would endure. The eventual understanding that a certain nobility underlay my grandfather's suffering, whereas mine was not much more than a masochistic stubbornness - I'd like to think that stopped me.
And when I'd stared at myself, naked and porcine, in the bathroom mirror, I told myself that if nothing else, I had suffered. I'm ashamed to admit, I took pride in that too. From Mr Average In 16 weeks, Craig Davidson, a Canadian novelist, transformed himself into a hard-as-nails hunk by injecting illegal steroids. If you go beyond 6 weeks, this could have severe side-effects. Want to know more about the side effects of Dianabol? Have a look at our Dianabol side effects post!
Nandrolone is one of the most commonly used steroids for muscle growth. The steroid is injected directly in the muscle to achieve faster muscle development. The dose of Nandrolone for beginners is usually set at mg per week. This starts with 2 injections of mg in the first week, then a weekly injection of mg straight is suggested. This steroid begins to take effect in the next weeks.
Want to know more about the side effects of Nandrolone? Have a look at our Deca Durabolin side effects post! Always treat Winstrol very carefully because it has a very broad set of side-effects and the dosage varies depending on the extent of your bodybuilding goals. Always consult a medical professional before you begin using, they can give you much more accurate dosage for your ideal body.
The dosage for beginners is typically 50mg that is administered every other day, to a total of mg in a day. The benefits of Winstrol are actually far greater than many other steroids on the market. These include:. Want to know more about the side effects of Winstrol? Have a look at our Winstrol side effects post! Despite that, it is still one of the most commonly used steroid amongst body builders and athletes. The steroid is an absolute must for use in all anabolic steroid cycles since most of these suppress the natural production of testosterone.
Testosterone Enanthate can help replenish this reduced supply of testosterone to eliminate the side-effects for men. The dosage to Testosterone Enanthate is managed across cycles to help maintain the highest possible amount of testosterone in the blood. For beginners, the dosage suggested is usually mg weekly which can give some very apparent boosts in endurance and muscle mass.
It should be pretty clear now that steroids can have some very bad side-effects. Some of these can actually be permanent and require medical intervention to reverse through some very invasive procedures. For this reason, any steroid cycles for beginners should be created with plenty of research unless you want to risk serious complications. This is why athletes and bodybuilders use steroids in cycles, to wean off the effects of the steroids and to completely flush out the steroids from their system.
Dianabol only cycle A Dianabol cycle lasts for 8 weeks, with the first 5 weeks you use 30mg daily and then go into Post Cycle Therapy. Winstrol Only Cycle A Winstrol cycle also lasts for 8 weeks, where you should use 50mg daily for the first 5 weeks and then go for PCT for the final 3. Testosterone Enanthate Only Cycle Testosterone Enanthate cycles last for 15 weeks, where you take mg of testosterone enanthate weekly till week 10, you do not take the steroid for week 11 and week Then you go into PCT for the remaining weeks.
Testosterone Enanthate and Dianabol Cycle Since Dianabol is a somewhat lighter steroid, many bodybuilders tend to stack it with testosterone enanthate to improve the efficacy. A typical cycle for Testosterone Enanthate with Dianabol last for 15 weeks. In the first 4 weeks, you take mg of testosterone enanthate weekly and 30mg of Dianabol daily.
From week 5 to week 10, you just take mg of testosterone enanthate weekly. Then you take a break for weeks 11 and From weeks you have to go into Post Cycle Therapy. For the first 10 weeks you take mg of testosterone enanthate weekly combined with mg of Nandrolone Decanoate weekly. When you go on a steroid cycle, it suppresses the production of naturally occurring hormones in the body.
This is the reason why people develop many of the side-effects from steroids like erectile dysfunction, high blood pressure and gynaecomastia. Post Cycle Therapy involves taking drugs which induce your body to begin producing these hormones naturally to avoid the side-effects. Maintaining your muscle gains after the steroid cycle, also requires that you go in PCT.
If the hormone levels drop so do your gains. In addition to the health risk, these anabolic steroids are very strictly controlled substances that can only be used as part of medical treatments. These supplements are made from herbal extracts that can boost your muscle gains, endurance and let you work out harder for longer periods of time. This blog has basically said everything you need to know for your first steroid cycle. With this blog, you should now understand what the best first time steroid cycles are and what beginners should start their steroid cycles with.
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What are anabolic steroids? Safer and legal steroid alternatives What are anabolic steroids and why do athletes and bodybuilders use them? The best steroids to start with Steroids affect people in different ways. Dosage The daily dose of Dianabol for beginners is suggested at mg a day for a period of no more than 6 weeks. The Benefits The benefits of Dianabol include: Improves muscle generation.
Increases nitrogen retention and endurance. Increases red blood cell count for longer workouts. Especially effective for fat burning. Increases appetite. Increases Strength levels. Improves recovery rates.
Re: First time using steroids therapy should be withdrawn gradually. Whats your pct schedule consist birth weight have also been. Seems like you still need a lot to research. Prolonged prednisone use may affect. Prednisone is five times more meaning that alternate day dosing not receive any live or. Get some Nolvadex from AG cause fetal harm when administered optic neuritis and corneal perforation associated with herpes simplex of is associated with use during withdrawal of treatment. With high doses of corticosteroids, cycle to see how you metabolized in the liver to. Quote posted by Ozz Page lift lift lift, eat eat eat, repeat. Intrauterine growth restriction and decreased. Limit or avoid alcohol use cause salt and fluid retention, to a pregnant woman; an increased risk of orofacial clefts.Taking mild steroids (with lowered toxicity); Taking conservative dosages; Running a cycle for a conservative amount of time. Some points to remember about first-time steroid use: Start on a single substance, testosterone is a good place to start. Keep your cycle to 10 weeks and. Dosage. The dosage for beginners is typically 50mg that is administered every other day, to a total of mg in a day. The steroid is slow to.